So...hmmmm. Where have i been these past few months? No one cares? Right, forgot about that. I forgot how great it was to vent on here and not worry about feed back of any sort, I love it. So today i realized that after months of heart break and pain that I'm gonna be perfectly OK, its a long story. I looked out over the ridge and down past the levy and watched the parched faded grass breathe the wind and gun powder, i looked toward the sky and watch the birds flutter and evade lost slugs powering through the sky and smash into the trees, i heard grown men laugh, knowing that they've probably been through the exact same things that I have, and they told stories. They told funny stories and completely disregarded the painful sagas they've toughed out, and they made it to be happy grown old men. That's what I'm gonna be, maybe not so happy, but all the less alive with stories and memories. Oh and by the way I came to this reckoning and a trap shoot at a sportsman's club...happy grown men with guns...yes. I'm gonna survive this sucky situation and laugh at it in a few months when I'm no longer dwelling on the lost love and striving for the new found soul i recently bought...acquired through learning from all this. i really have nothing to say now, this was just a venting session...now I'm just brushing up on my keying skills so i don't totally suck when school starts tomorrow. FALL OUT BOY IS QUITE A SNAZZY BAND! I hope I'm as strong as i am now when i see you tomorrow, i always feel so strong before the storm and then crumble in a heaping mess when i stand across form you in the hall in the mornings and after school...you never really realized what you've done to me have you? you dont see that your choices left my heart a cracked egg waiting to break...and while you were off galavanting with your new spark i was all alone crying on my own shoulder because you were the only one who knew i was way to stubborn to get help...you thought i was ok with what you were doing, you thought i wasnt attached to you anymore? Wrong my dear, how mistaken were you, but wait...you did know, and you said sorry, thank you. But whats next? How long will this game last? Hey, I'm not mad at you, just curious, I wouldnt change anything thats happened this past year. Wow this blog is all over the place...oh well its mine. But as much as you hurt me i miss you, i miss you next to me, i miss you head on my shoulder and you hair in my face, i miss holding your hand in the car, i miss walking up behind you and grabbing you, i miss making you laugh sooo hard, i miss our stupid adventures, i miss all those nights on the phone, i miss our adventure book, too bad you'll never read this, and if you did to bad this wont change your thoughts or decisions...so i guess what was is gone and im all alone again? Yupp...you know who you are if your reading this, but youve taken who i am and changed me, for good and worse, and i pray to God for you to let me go now or love me like you used to...but i wont get my hopes up. I'll miss you forever, because that's how long youll be gone...I love you, i still remember what that means.
