i dont know what to say or write anymore, everytime i try write something i get blocked by my mind trying to piece together shattered words. i wonder what impact they'll have, what message they'll lay on some ones heart, good or bad. its snowing here, its snowing and nothings changed even though i pray that as the snows blankets the ground underneath the earth will change. i look up into a gray fogged up sky and see nothing, but through years of school i know that past the fog and clouds i know that the sky is still blue, past the sky even in broad daylight there are stars, the moon is still there, the sun is still there. everything is still there, except me, im some where else, im in a world where i dont feel what i feel now, what i feel everyday when i wake up. i feel a zen, a peace this world cant offer, a nirvanna, a spiritual release. i breathe out and a deep flowing cloud of old life billows out and a new life is taken in with a gasp. and with this new life i have new eyes, i see better things, i see in the darkest days a light that shines, not through the dark, but behind it, its always waiting, waiting for the seeker to begin his journey, my journey, and it begins now.